So.

It's been months and months since I've poured my heart out in this thing.

Since I have no PC now, I've been forced to download the app for my phone.
That leaves me with next to no room to edit the font, post photos, and just play around with my text in general.
*sigh*
Sacrafices/First world pains.

Moving on.

I'm 21 now.
I've lost everything in the midst of my selfishness over the past few months.
Lessons have been learned....yet they still insist on teaching.
What more does this world want from me.

I feel that I'm different. There's something about me...am I losing my mind?
My very sanity? Please don't take that away from me. I think I need that.
Or...has it already been lost? Maybe it ran away months ago with everything else.

Am I just a mere shell? Yeah. Sure, why not?
What is my purpose? Why do I feel like I'm so important when in reality...I'm just as relevant as a grain of sand?

I need answers. 

Spiral.

Everything in my life took a turn for the worst.

It started on my 21st birthday.

I won't get into any details. Just know that I lost all my friends and the one guy i loved.

Geez I'm stupid.

It's been about a month and a half since that happened...and about a month since he left me.

I'm okay now.

I'm really trying to fill out this Fafsa application so i can start going to school again.

But, man, it's so damn hard. Fafsa always gives me trouble. ALWAYS! 

I'm sitting at the Community College's library as of right now.

I look to my left out the window and see the most beautiful view:

A crystal clear sky.

I see over the mountains. 

The horizon.

                                               Trees are so green and beautiful from this view.

I look to my right and see bland:

Long gray hallway.Empty desks.

Offices and offices.

I'm pretty sure what i'm seeing right now is a choice.

                                         A choice to be free or a choice to keep an education.

*sigh*