Come Back Around

Put in my 2 weeks notice today :]
Wonderful.
This is the start of something new. New life.
Time to myself for once.

Hanging out with the guys tonight.
Gonna chill and play some video games.

I'm on the phone right now with Virgin Mobile.
They still havent given me my $40 refund.
It'd be nice to have that since my 300 was stolen -_-

I was out with the guys at Emily/Avi's house! We had so much fun!
we stayed up until 7 playing club cranium and Modern Warfare 2. oh boy.
Even tho i got mad cause they were being super loud,i still love them to death :D

The Guys: John(b/f), Darnell, Jacques, Ugo and Chubbz.

Hey Little World

I'm listening to The Hives right now.
I feel like it'sa nice day for blogging.

Someone stole 300 bucks from me the other day...
i was left with 92 bucks...whatever. I'm ok now.
I was super mad before, but hey. It's just money!

My boyfriend and I have been good lately.
We've decided to work things out. Just fixing us, trying more instead of just letting it cruise.

I've been thinking a lot, i would like to move out, but i don't know how to tell my parents.
I'm just tried of living here. I'm turning 20....maybe i should wait until then -_-

Idk...my mom moved out when she turned 18...but that's because she was pregnant. AG!

My manager doesnt know i want to quit, but everytime i try to go tell him...he turns into the nicest guy ever...as if he suspects it.
Like last time i was going to, he bought cookies for everyone..
or the time before that, he bought pizza. WAH!!!

I'm kind of stuck.
I wish i had a day where i can just go out and take pictures....just walk.
I need a beach.
i need warm weather...and more sun.
the sun gives me energy.
It gives everyone engery, but i like to think i'm the only one who feels it.
I need music, the right music.
I need a roadtrip.
I need a some fun.

just for a while...then i can come back to this cruel reality :(

Duh.

It's raining.

On My Feet.

I knew he would come back. :)


I like having this blog...it sort of comforts me. It's like chocolate technology.
yeah. That's what it is.

I feel like putting pictures here....
just things....me :P

What Happened?

Friends.


Just friends.

My best friend to be exact.


*sigh*

He'll come around, and when he does, i'll be waiting.


Today was a day full of work and tears. Story of my life, right? no.
I'm gonna keep going. No tears in a few days...i'll be fine.
Penn State Berks for photography soon.

Going out with him tomorrow for breakfast...as friends...?

it's tough right now.

Run

All he needs is a best friend...

not a girlfriend.

But i want to be his girlfriend. This hurts so bad.
Why can't he make up his mind and stop hurting us?

I tried last night...telling him that i'm just his best friend.
But he didn't like that...so i'm still is girlfriend......but i know he doesnt like that either.
He's not telling me what he wants. He needs to tell me what he's feeling, what he wants me to do, what he wants himself to do.

His plan was to move on and come back to me when he's ready......but how can you do that if we're just gonna stay best friends the entire time? It's giving me false hope everyday that i would see you. Kind of like "Is today the day he'll come back to me?...no?....okay. I guess we'll go see a movie as friends"

March 21 is 3 years we'll be together. It would have been.....it still could be.

I never have any negative thoughts about our relationship.
Sure, i want some space too, but i get that space when i'm at work...away from him. 6 days a week. I only see him for a few hours a day...2 days a week now.
This isnt healthy.
Baby, please....i want u to miss me so bad that you come visit me at work or come surprise me at home. You go out with our friends until the early morning almost all the time.
Why can't you do that with me? When i have a day off....just stay with me all day.

You always say how it's always about me. Well lately it's all been about you. How you're the one who wants to be friends and come back to me when YOU feel like it.
Or when you're the one who wants to go home early because you're tired.
I NEVER SEE YOU!!! Don't just go home! you're tired, but i'm lonely.

You have your friends, i have my coworkers. Don't try and find me a best friend until we fix our relationship first. just listen to me.


If you leave, i cant come back...just because you're going to do it all over again. Like you did 3 times before. It's not always about me.

Curiouser and Curiouser

This is me.
Being a good blogger...is what i do.

What the fuck does that even mean?
How are you a good blogger? I mean, you just blog right?
I guess blogging is some sort of an art. A way for people to express themselves.
How are someone's expression better then anyone else's?

Open your mind.

This isn't any better than only blogging about a crappy day.

it's what i'm feeling right now. hm?

I love typing. I love drawing and writing and reading. I love blankness. I feel with blankness i can start fresh.

When i turn the page in a book, i see text, letters, spaces, punctuation...but i dont see what the page is trying to tell me. I see blankness...and it makes me excited, therefore i read.
When i open my sketchbook and see emptiness, i smile because i know i can create what i want on that paper.

I love empty notebooks because i love writing. The white pages and blue lines with the red margins. Fuck margins...i write before and after them. I want to fill the whole page with my thoughts!
I made a blog because i love blankness, because everyday i can see an empty white box on my screen and just type what i want. It's a nice feeling.

I'm sort of a 'glass half full' type of person, but i have my pessimistic days. who doesnt?

by the by...quoting Alice in Wonderland is something i do.