The Agenda

1. Wake up

 

 

2. Take a deep breath

 

 

3. Come into reality

Open my eyes and come to terms with the fact that my dream may have been better than this. 

Remember a Time

You ever feel like you're not getting older, but you're starting to look older? My birthday is this August...I'll be 24. I feel like I did as a teen, but my face is changing. Obviously no wrinkles....but it's changing. My body is changing.  I'm not saying I'm getting old and fat....I'm just saying that I feel different...physically I guess. I don't know how to handle it.

Change is a scary thing. Quite frankly, it might be the scariest thing on earth. It wouldn't be scary if we were prepared for it....but when are we ever?  Remember a time when things didn't matter? I want that fantasy world back. We all want to live in our fantasy worlds. Where nothing matters, you don't age, money isn't an issue...everyone is happy.
Change is hard and so is the truth. Truth is...we don't live in that world. We need to work for what we have and that's the reality of the situation. You aren't always going to be happy, but that also the beauty in life. You need to struggle to get what you want.

There is beauty in the breakdown.

 

 

 

P.S.

     I'm back, bitches.

 

 

 

 

Hey.

Watsup?

I've been trying to eat healthier lately.
I got a new job.

Data entry...at JC Ehrlich =_=

exciting.

Here's more me.

Still Searching...

There's still that part of me that I'm longing for.
The part where I find out where I belong.

Since January, I've found a small light nearing the end of this stupid tunnel.
Meeting someone is nice. It's really nice.

I just hate having to be so cautious because of the past.

I'm still recovering from that.
God.
That was terrible.

:)

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

One question that should be banned from human society.

So.

It's been months and months since I've poured my heart out in this thing.

Since I have no PC now, I've been forced to download the app for my phone.
That leaves me with next to no room to edit the font, post photos, and just play around with my text in general.
*sigh*
Sacrafices/First world pains.

Moving on.

I'm 21 now.
I've lost everything in the midst of my selfishness over the past few months.
Lessons have been learned....yet they still insist on teaching.
What more does this world want from me.

I feel that I'm different. There's something about me...am I losing my mind?
My very sanity? Please don't take that away from me. I think I need that.
Or...has it already been lost? Maybe it ran away months ago with everything else.

Am I just a mere shell? Yeah. Sure, why not?
What is my purpose? Why do I feel like I'm so important when in reality...I'm just as relevant as a grain of sand?

I need answers. 

Spiral.

Everything in my life took a turn for the worst.

It started on my 21st birthday.

I won't get into any details. Just know that I lost all my friends and the one guy i loved.

Geez I'm stupid.

It's been about a month and a half since that happened...and about a month since he left me.

I'm okay now.

I'm really trying to fill out this Fafsa application so i can start going to school again.

But, man, it's so damn hard. Fafsa always gives me trouble. ALWAYS! 

I'm sitting at the Community College's library as of right now.

I look to my left out the window and see the most beautiful view:

A crystal clear sky.

I see over the mountains. 

The horizon.

                                               Trees are so green and beautiful from this view.

I look to my right and see bland:

Long gray hallway.Empty desks.

Offices and offices.

I'm pretty sure what i'm seeing right now is a choice.

                                         A choice to be free or a choice to keep an education.

*sigh*

Still At That one.

I've been living with my parents for the past two weeks now. It's pretty nice :)
I brought Charles Xavier here with me. He is content so far ^_^'

I Have A New Video.

I look terrible in this video. I decided to do it out of the blue!
lol

As we speak...

...I'm making Ramen noodles :)

I'm boiling them just to fry them. 

YUM!

I realize..

..that this is my own private world.

I say so many things here that i never say outside.

Hm.

How does technology bring the umph out of me.

I've been reading this book lately. It's called Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children.

It's great so far. 

Work has been a disaster. -_- I work the next 9 days in a row.

All 8-10 hour shifts. 

Wish me luck :)

I barely have time to shower when i wake up, let alone blog.

I wanted to do StumbleUpon today...but i know i would have gotten sucked into it...bad o_o

haha

I went to Hershey the other day with some from work! It was awesome! It was my first time there :D

We went on almost every rollercoaster. Then got soaking wet on a log flume that we thought we werent gonna get wet on...which is why my friend and i got on in jeans and khakis. Yeah...bad idea. lol

Anyway. i guess i'm out for now.

Goodbye!

My Hair

is everywhere.

No, it's just up in a bun right now.

I find it amazing how hair can so easily be squished into a little ball ontop of my head.

Hmph. 

I'm doing laundry as I type-and you read. :)

I havent had much time to write in here. :( Sadly. I've been working non-stop since May. 

30-40 hours a week. Yes, i shouldnt be complaining, but at the same time...i should. Last time i checked---we don't get any over time pay. No time and a half. There's days i work 10 hours...and nada. 

Ug. whatever. This is that moment where i feel inspired to find a new job, then i apply online, wait for a week, and just lay in bed and give up -_-

I ordered a book. It should be here tomorrow :) too bad i work all night -_-

Anyway, it's called Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children.

I'll let you know how it goes....whenever i get around to reading it! haha

I really enjoy altering my text. For some reason it was disabled for a while...and now it's back.

Idk what i'm saying.

I turn 21 in T-MINUS 2 MONTHS-5 DAYS!

New Pictures

Just some new pictures of me/my cat

PoKeMoN

Albotas.com <-- great website for bringing out your inner nerd.

Anyway. I went out today with my boyfriend. Just walking and stuff...grabbed a bite to eat. Now we're gonna relax and watch Tangled! I heard it was sucha cute movie! I really hope so :)

I'm  alittle tired now. Walks usually don't drain me..but in this case. yes. haha

It's gonna be a good day :) 

I'm supposed to be going to Hershey Park this saturday with my friends, but idk if it's gonna happen :(

I've never been there before, so i certainly hope we can make it!

I've only ever been to one theme park...and that was Dorney! Which was totally rad!

lol ANYWAY!

Not much to update here....hm. 

click the picture to view larger!

Ice

I never thought the day would come when I would be asked to model for a major company. That day still hasn't come, but I wish it would. Sometimes i wish things just came easy...wishful thinking doesnt get many people anywhere...so I should stop.
My friend is a senior and fashion major in college. She asked me to model one of her outfits for a little runway show they're having! The theme of her wardrobe are the four elements: Earth, Wind, Water and Fire. I'm the fire element :) It will be exciting!

I went to Starbucks today.
I also really need to do my hair...this single color is not cutting it anymore.
Maybe some red and purple tones would do me some good.

Well...this is about enough blog thats gonna come out of me for today!
goodbye!

Social Networking

Lately i've been sucked into the world of social networking.
It all started with Xanga.
Haha I was a 14 year old girl who just wanted to meet new people.

From there, it's just been a landslide of socializing.

Xanga
Myspace
Photobucket
youtube
Facebook
Twitter
Tumblr
Blogspot

Each of which i have an account with. 6 out of 8 are still 100% active :)

Xanaga- i used for a week. I didnt get it. that's DONE.
Myspace- I got up to 3000 friends before i figured out it was stupid. that's DONE
Photobucket- I love sharing pictures of me and my friends. ACTIVE.
Youtube- i love random vlogs :) I'm only at 250 subscribers, but it's a start :D ACTIVE.
Facebook- Personal use only. Only my friends and family know of my facebook. ACTIVE.
Twitter- i like telling people when i have to pee haha! ACTIVE.
Tumblr- It's so awesome! It's a mini blog of mine, and i LOVE it! ACTIVE.
Blogspot- Is a very personal blog that i dont want many ppl to know of. It's me. ACTIVE.


So there's that! lol A littler more inside of StephyStripes.

The Agenda

1. Wake up
- After a long night of dreaming, waking up is the 2nd most important part of my day.

2. Take a deep breath
- I'm making sure that I'm completely in my own body. Dreaming drains you.

3. Come into reality
- Open my eyes and come to terms with the fact that my dream may have been better than this.
- Coming into reality is the most important part of my day. It's also my favorite.
My dreams are always strange, i love them and i hate them. I wish i lived in them!
When i wake up, i know what i need to do to achieve the same happiness in my dreams.
A dream outside of my dream, if you will :) The opposite of Inception, i guess haha



Today is St. Patrick's Day!
This means I am officially obligated to go into work drunk :)

These are some old pictures i found of myself.
The first one is John and I :) Since March '07 <3

I am

Drunk :)

I do this a lot...

Today i was extremely productive :)

I cleaned the entire apartment, washed all the dishes, cleaned the litter box, and managed to feed myself!
I also hung out with an old friend :)
I missed her!
We went to Dragonfly tattoo and i watched as the artist dug into her skin with needles and ink.
It was awesome!
We also went to a cafe right after. I took some pictures :)

All in all: I had a nice time *^_^*

BTW...i ave a Tumblr account now :D.
It's a more exciting me! haha

StephyStripes.Tumblr.com <--- go!